Aaaaahhhhh the Spa!

So I finally got to put my mother's day gift to use. Larry and the kids got me a gift certificate to a day spa in downtown McKinney called Essence of Eve. I love this place! It is nice without being pretentious and it is Christian based not "new age" like. It has that quaint old downtown look and feel. It is just awesome. Did I mention that I love this place?

I met my mother-in-law there yesterday. She was the one who introduced me to E of E with a generous gift certificate Christmas before last and another one last Christmas too. Now, before you start thinking I am some kind of spoiled lush, let me point out these are the only times I've been but would gladly go more frequently if possible!

I started with an hour massage, followed by a half hour rose petal bubble bath soak in a clawfoot tub with a glass of champaign and a couple of chocolates, and ended with a pedicure (which I haven't indulged in since I was pregnant with my now 7 yr old son).

All I have to say is, "Thanks Larry, you done good honey!!!" and aaaaaahhhhhh, I love the spa!

Sisters Are The Best

The kids and I arrived home from visiting my sister and her family in Austin yesterday. We had a great time, the cousins got to play, and I got lots of good advice and rejuvenation from my sister. I love staying at her house. It is like being in a big hug and I am never ready to leave. Her house is clean, organized, and peaceful, not to mention the yummy, healthy home cooked meals. We hadn't been home 5 minutes before my kids started asking when we get to see Aunt Kimmy again (and Caitlin, Ryan, LuLu and Uncle Mike). I must admit, I was thinking it too! I do come home feeling like I want to do better around here. I confess, I am not a very good housekeeper. There, I said it, I admit it, I own it. Isn't that the first step to recovery?

See my sister is someone I aspire to be a little more like. She is a selfless, organized, compassionate, patient, Godly woman, wife, mother and sister. We used to live in the same neighborhood until Mike got transferred and they moved to Austin the day before M was born. My whole support system went south - literally. But my sister, being the great person that she is, told the movers where to put the boxes, packed her then 2 yr old twins back in the car and made the trip right back up here while leaving her world upside down in Austin. A couple years later, she came up with the twins (4 yrs old by then) to be here when C was born. They attempted to induce me, but he decided to wait another whole week before appearing and Kim stayed her an extra week with both kids. Those of you who travel with kids know it is not the easiest thing to do. That is just the tip of the iceberg. She takes care of us when we are down there and has paved the way for me on all kinds of parenting issues for the past 9 years.

So this is to say, "Thank you for everything Kim! Sisters are awesome and God gave me the best one. . . I love you!"

blogging from Austin

Ok, I can certainly see how this can be addictive!  I admit to checking on a couple friends multiple times a day to see if they have posted anything . . . 

I am in Austin visiting my sister and her family right now and wishing we could just stay forever.  I love Austin - it is so different than the Dallas area.  Much more relaxed not to mention greener.  Lots more trees, lot less concrete.  If only Larry's work had an office here and we could transfer.  But it doesn't, so we won't. 

M and C love playing with their cousins and never get bored even just hanging around the house here.  Not like home where the idea of just playing at home is some kind of torture or punishment.  I think they even sense how much more relaxed it is here.  

Friday before we left, my mom and I took the kids to see Nim's Island at the local dollar theater.  It was a really cute movie.  Just the right amount of "edge of your seat" action for my kids without worrying about the bad dreams later!  The scary part for me at this particular theater is the pervy men I have encountered two times before here.  The last one was about a year ago when I took the kids to se Shrek the Third.  All I'll say is that when a grown man comes into a theater showing a kids movie in the middle of a weekday without any kids, take it as a red flag!  That time I told the manager of the theater and she called the police . . . I left before I found out what happened.  Try explaining to your kids why you left the theater early and why you had to talk to a policeman before leaving and convincing them that you are not in trouble or going to be arrested . . . lots of fun!  Well, this friday a "red flag" showed up about 5 seats away and luckily nothing happened.  I  made eye contact with him in a way to say, "don't you dare try anything with my babies in this theater or I will rip your heart out!"  I get a little momma bearish that way sometimes.  Another mom and her kids had to sit right next to him so any privacy he had was lost and I was able to enjoy the movie with my kids and not worry about him so much.  Now I'm not saying all men watching a kid appropriate movie without kids in the middle of a weekday is bound to be scum of the earth, I am just saying vigilant moms be alert!  

Well, I think we are going to try and figure out what we are doing today so, signing off . . . 

24 hours panic free!!!

Praise God! I think this wave of panic attacks may be nearing it's end. It has been at least 24 hours since the last one - which woke me at 3:00 in the morining night before last and kept me up for about 3 hours! If this "demanding more" can truly work, I think I need more practice, but not right now. I am too relieved that this bout may be over!

Though I guess I am going to test my nerves a little later today as my mother and I are taking the kiddos to the cheap theater (can't call it the dollar theater anymore since it cost more than a buck) to see Nim's Island. What could possibly be unnerving about a kid friendly movie in the middle of the afternoon you ask? Well, twice in the past 15 years, I have encountered pervy men in this very theater. The last time was last summer when I took the kids to see Shrek the Third. I vowed I would never go there again. But, alas I am going as my mother and the kids both really want to see this movie. I will just be very aware of who sits next to us - hopefully just another mom with her kids not a man in his 40's by himself in a kids movie at 12:30 on a Friday afternoon. However, if a person fitting this description does come sit next to us, I'll just take that as a red flag and move right away!

Wow, my post makes my life seem rather gloomy right now but really it isn't. We just returned last Thursday from a week in Galveston. We stayed bayside in a house right on the canal. We all had a blast fishing, going to Moody Gardens, and Rainforest Cafe but I think the most exciting thing for the kids was diving into the waves in the ocean and seeing two real live sharks right there on the beach! It didn't even stop them from getting back in the water! Some guys were fishing for speckled trout and when they would hook a shark - just small black tip sharks - they would have to walk all the way back to shore to unhook it with a pair of pliers. They might be small, but their teeth are still sharp and you can't really reach your hand in their mouths. The fisherman was going to leave it on shore to die, but PaPa (my father-in-law) came to the rescue and took the shark by the tail and released him back in the water. Two seconds later the kids were back in diving in the waves again! Above are pictures of me and C (yes, he gave me rabbit ears!), M and C with daddy hunting for shells, the view from the deck, and PaPa with M, C, and one of the sharks! Sunday me and the kids are off to Austin to visit Aunt Kimmie, Uncle Mike, and their 3 kids . . .

Bring it on . . .

I confess, I have learned a bit about my mother in the past few months. You (the only possible readers of this right now) may remember my mother as a relatively nice lady with a tendency to drink too much. I have come to learn the reason why she drank too much. Anxiety attacks. Yes, as frightening as hell on earth anxiety attacks. Guess what? They are genetic and just this past January I became the next victim in our family. I literally thought I was going crazy or losing my mind. It happened one night after the rest of the family had gone to bed and I was working on a jigsaw puzzle. From out of the blue this brick wall called anxiety hit me. I was scared to death but managed to get in bed and fall asleep about 45 minutes after it passed.

The next morning I called my mother and asked her if she ever feared for her mental health. Very cautiously she answered, "Yes . . . why?" I told her everything that happened and she confirmed that the same thing happens to her every few months and has since she was about my age but never said anything to anyone!!! Uuggghh! A little warning would have been nice. Then I called my sister and guess what else? Yeah, you guessed it. She has been having them since she was well, about my age! Again, uuggghh! I really wished someone had just mentioned this to me.

This past Friday I encountered my 3rd round of attacks (they come in waves and last a few days because of the overwhelming fear and thoughts of having another one) and though mom has lived with them for 30 years, 6 months have passed and I am saying "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"

I visited my Dr after the first one and she gave me a presciption for a low dose of xanax (sp?) which I filled and have yet to take because 1) I think it will only mask the problem, not get rid of it and 2) addictive personalities run in my family, so I tend to stay away from anything that can be addictive - except the computer!

I found a "self-help" ebook program that is supposed to help break the cycle of fear of having another attack and thus diminish the body's tendency to have one. The principle is based on "demanding more" of the horrible sensations of the attack while in the midst of having one until you trust that nothing bad will actually come of it thereby reducing your fear of another and lowering the general anxiety level so that you don't have another (or at least if you do it is just a minor wave to ride out). I don't know if this will work, but what have I got to lose . . . my mind? lol

Kidding aside, this has consumed the better part of my life for the past few months. So, I write this to ask for prayer and to open the door if anyone else is suffering. No one mentioned it to me before it happened and oh, how I wish they had. Since I'll be trying to demand more to get past fear my new motto is "Bring it on" - which I can't say without thinking of blonde cheerleaders but then a little comic relief could be a good thing!?!?!

Ok, I am a little behind the times on this blogging thing, but like fashion I don't catch on until it has been out for a while! I am starting this primarily because I have been reading a couple of friends' blogs and am starting to feel odd about keeping up with them and not sharing about myself. So I may only have two or three readers and it will no doubt take me a while to get the hang of this but I will give it a try. . . later, right now my kids want to go to the library and who am I to stiffle little minds - especially since the rain thwarted our original plans to go swimming today! Come on Mr. Sunshine . . .